Bobby Saves Us All

First they ate our king

They did it just to prove

They weren’t the types to be

Ease-pleased with our next move

We brought every type of currency

They wiped their mouths and grunted

We all felt creeping urgency

But knew not what they wanted

Their ships kept on amassing

Almost blotting out the sky

And with every hour passing

They’d fire from on high

Our crops and buildings burned

While we bunkered underground

And every thought was turned

To an answer not yet found

They’d melted every weapon

So we couldn’t wage a fight

We couldn’t even feign to threaten

Their exponential might

‘A clear misunderstanding..’

That’s what we yearned to say

‘a simple lack of planning...’

‘Mistakes were made that day’

But all they heard was gibberish

From strange aggressive beasts

We couldn’t quite deliver this

Still we tried at least

We sent them politicians

They cooked and ate them all

We sent a bunch of lawyers

We did that just to stall

We brought them gold and jewels

Which they melted with their breath

We couldn’t guess the rules

We all were scared to death

And then occurred the perfect choice

So we just had to choose it

We’d speak in our most perfect voice

And talk to them through music

We gathered great musicians

An orchestra superb

And sent them to positions

To play to save our world

They didn’t stand a chance

Their instruments condemned them

The aliens advanced

With no one to defend them

Opera singers fared the same

I guess.. too big and screechy

Then choirs faced the flame

I guess they were too preachy

We couldn’t be more wary

These were desperate times

Just as a hail mary

We sent them clowns and mimes

… after they ate those

I sat and softly cried

We weren’t even close

No matter what we tried

And no one seemed to blame me

For ordering the shot

Because they couldn’t name me

Or in the stress forgot

It was like I was the only one

Who knew I’d caused it all

If I survived when this was done

I wished to take the fall

I’d said “Send a warning salvo!”

Not knowing what it would spark

I rue those words right now though

They made the whole world dark

So, as I sat there lowly

Feeling guilty and alone

I reached in my pocket slowly

And pulled out my earphones

I played the only thing I knew

That could right then make me smile

And that voice came warming through

I hadn’t heard it for a while

I shakily took my feet

I thrust my hands up high

I nodded my head to the beat

And I screamed “I’VE GOT THE GUY!”

I’ve never run so quick

I couldn’t stop to explain

One moment I was sick

The next hope pumped in my veins

I drove through fields and streets

Where all was charred and barren

Through strikes and fire and heat

I sped like a fiend on my errand

It took me a day to get to

The mountain  I finally found

Where the road wound like a corkscrew

All the way up to the crown

There the air was chilled and clean

And the sky completely clear

Unblemished and pristine

Like it hadn’t stirred in years

I stopped at the base and got out

I bent down on one knee

I’m ashamed to admit in my doubt

Right then, I thought just of me

‘Why should I go back’

‘To a world that might not forgive?’

‘I could stay here, wait out the attack’

‘And just do my best to live’

Pride brought me back to my feet

I shook that thought away

I had a task to complete

I’d rather die than not try that day

I heard that voice again

I sung along in my head

It got louder and closer and then

From somewhere behind me it said

“Can I help you out?”

“Looks like you’ve lost your way”

In my heart I had no doubt

Just what I had to say

I turned and there he was

Lithe and gray, standing tall

“I came here because…”

“Bobby… you could save us all”

He paused and squinted his eyes

His dreadlocks caught the sun

He turned to the smoke in the sky

And then he said that he would come

We drove mostly in silence

That I was afraid to break

His eyes scanned the violence

Was it too much to take?

Finally, I blurted “I’m sorry!”

“This really isn’t your fight!”

He laughed and it surprised me

But it made me feel all right

“I heard that in a film before”

“But fighting’s not my thing”

“I can’t help you win a war”

“But I’ll do my best to sing”

“Relax, we’re getting close”

“Take that worry from your face”

“You look like you’ve seen ghosts”

“But these are just monsters from space”

I began to smile

And Bobby began to hum

And during that last mile

I stopped feeling numb

Na Na Na Na Nuh Na Nuh Yeah

His notes cooled the air

Na Na Na Naa Nuh Na ooh-eaah

Just like a wordless prayer

And suddenly it hit me

I can’t believe I thought this

But as we reached the city

I thought ‘Whoa…. Bobby’s got this!’

The main ship loomed like a mountain

Isolated on the plain

All the rest you couldn’t count them

They filled the air like rain

We drove straight to the ring

No point in a delay

Our best chance we would bring

And we, or this, would end some way

The giants leaned against their ship

Looking full and somehow bored

They moaned and only stirred a bit

When we came walking toward

A pile of clothes lay rotten

Where they had spit them out

They weren’t feeling cotton

But they liked our bones no doubt

Some of them looked mostly slime

And some looked mostly teeth

All of them looked caked in grime

With worse stuff underneath

We were 50 yards away

And still could feel the singe

Of each exhale they’d bray

The memory makes me cringe

I saw that Bobby looked so calm

It almost couldn’t be

And then softly he sang a psalm

It was number twenty-three

“Medicine Music, I love that track”

I said grinning and unnerved

With confidence he smiled back

“Thanks. Now what have you observed?”

“Um, they hate groups of us”

“Or any tool or instrument”

“They eat anything they don’t trust”

“Like every thing we’ve sent”

“When you step in the circle, they’ll come near”

“And then closer as your time decreases”

“If you make them unhappy or show them fear”

“… they’ll tear you into pieces”

I was trembling as he said with a smirk

“Sounds tough, but I’ve played Philly”

He slapped my arm, said “Time for work”

He was really that positive. Really.

He took off his shirt and his shoes,

With no hesitation stepped in,

And like he had nothing to lose

He pounded a beat on his skin

From his chest out to his palms

He turned himself into a drum

Percussive and quick he kept on

As the creatures began to come

They didn’t come straight at him

But surrounded him on all sides

Bobby launched into a scat hymn

While I stood terrified

And then… it began to hit them

It shivered its way through their mob

One by one they caught Bobby’s rhythm

His music was doing its job

They grunted and groaned with pleasure

They bobbed and nodded along

Bobby mimicked right down to the measure

Their grunts back at them in his song

The guttural tones hypnotized them

They seemed to be in awe

Then his jumps to falsetto surprised them

And they joyfully raised up their claws

Then they did the strangest thing

They slowly backed away

Until they stood outside the ring

And they began to sway

Bobby slowed the tempo down

With vibrant humming tones

He stood with monsters all around

And sang like he was alone

There was no need for words

No more meaning could they bring

Bobby’s blues as it occurred

Spoke to any living thing

An hour passed before,

As I watched this all transfixed,

I realized there were hundreds more

And I was standing in their midst

I glanced up to the sky

Where no ships could be found

My mind raced for why...

Were they all on the ground?

Had the crisis finally ended?

Had they begun to go?

Would they all be offended

Once Bobby stopped his show?

I’ve never felt more conflicted

I felt elated, and nervous, and beaten

It was the greatest thing I’d ever witnessed

And might end with me being eaten

I focused on my hero

And marveled at his choice

He showed not a trace of fear though

The world’s fate hung on his voice

Which now was rising higher

And falling softer still

Like a full descending choir

With all the voices at his will

Way-ooh way-ooh ooh way-ooh

Way ooh... and then he stopped

I didn’t know what they would do

But if any pin had dropped…

You would have heard it for a mile

As Bobby walked towards me

But when I saw Bobby’s smile

I knew that we were free

That day, that moment, ended the fight

And brought back our whole system

But to ensure that things stayed right

Bobby agreed to go with them

To protect his family and everyone else

He now works in the great unknown

He gave us his gift and he gave up himself

But he promised he’d come back home

I have no doubt that he will

It’s only a matter of time

You see, he kind of has this skill

To commune with the alien mind

Alas, they took our king

They did it so they could groove

‘Cause when Bobby McFerrin sings

The whole universe has to move