New Expectations
Brad and Jane at a restaurant sometime in the near future…
J: “Brad, I’m so, so sorry.”
B: “It’s fine. Are you ok, though?”
J: “I know I said 8:17 but my car… aaahhh!... It’s been… just stupid, lately!”
B: “It’s fine, really. I mean… just three minutes, I got a drink and… You’re usually on time so I knew something went wrong. What happened?”
J: “You know, you pay good money for something you expect it to get you there on time, you know?”
B: “I know.”
J: “I checked and it said 8:16 to get here. It clearly said that. I got to the car on time. I got in. I started reading. I’ve really been enjoying the i3.”
B: “Oh, I’ve heard it’s great.”
J: “It’s marvelous. When it senses your eyes lingering on a word, it pronounces it for you in a soft voice and gives you a synonym.”
B: “Really?”
J: “Oh, muuuch better. The eye trace on the i2 was atrocious, you know that.”
B: “It was awful. A joke.”
J: “And not a funny one… so, I’m reading the new Swinton as he’s writing it…”
B: “How’s it so far?”
J: “eehhh… I love him but…”
B: “Wait for the third draft. I always tell you that.”
J: “Yeeeeaaah, I know but it’s just so exciting to get in early and I thought I could trust him to be better-“
B: “-Than Johnson?”
J: “Exactly!”
B: “I heard his fourth draft was pretty good.”
J: “Well, dear, if it takes you four tries, you’re hardly a real author.”
B: “True. Ok. So you’re riding here…”
J: “Yes, I’m trying to get into Swinton. I find a passage that’s fairly diverting and, the next thing I know, my Audi announces that we’ve arrived at the restaurant.”
B: “At what time?”
J: “8:16. You ready, though?”
B: “I’m vividly ready.”
J: “It parked us in a handicapped spot.”
B: “Dear, God!”
J: “I know! Thankfully, I was paying attention or…”
B: “You could have been fined!”
J: “I know! I have a nice car, Brad. I always let it update…”
B: “I know you do.”
J: “Yeah, and it left me in a very awkward position-”
B: “I can only imagine.”
J: “I could ask it to find the restaurant again which would have taken several minutes because the crappy software would have made it drive around the parking lot so the stupid thing could reset or…”
B: “Oh, Jane, you didn’t-“
J: “Yeah, I did.”
B: “You… I could have waited. I would have been fine.”
J: “No, you are one of my closest friends and I kept you waiting long enough.”
B: “Wow, well that’s very sweet. I mean, how’d it go?”
J: “I think I did pretty well. I started to veer towards the other cars a few times but the sensors won’t allow you to actually hit them or anything so it… it was an adventure that I’m glad to be done with.”
B: “Well done, my adventurer! Toast with me, now. To parking!”
J: “To Parking!”
B: “Did you order on the way here?”
J: “Yes, of course?”
B: “For what time?”
J: “8:33. I thought we’d enjoy drinks first.”
B: “Oh, no, I forgot to ask you. My food’s in for 8:37.”
J: “Well, just grab your phone and change it. Those printers don’t need any time to make the food, Brad.”
B: “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Unless… God forbid, the damn thing’s down.”
J: “Oh, don’t you even joke about something like that, Brad. I’ve already been through enough stress tonight to last a week. Let’s just think positive. I’ve got a hunch that the evening can still be saved.”