Be a Little Stronger
I had a friend in high school
Who was littler than me
I weighed about 120
And stood at 5 foot 3
We played Madden daily
And wished to someday be
Like the All-Pro running backs
For Baltimore and Tennessee
I found other interests
I even met a girl
But Kenny he stayed stubborn
He swore he’d be All-World
I told him: “Buddy, dreams die hard”
“Still sometimes life is clear”
“And you won’t weigh three digits”
“If you gain 5 pounds a year”
Kenny started lifting weights
He even joined a gym
He did presses, squats and crunches
I was bigger still than him
He spent much of his days and nights
Just grunting by himself
Then looking at the progress chart
He’d placed upon his shelf
A perfect horizontal line
It truly made him sad
He’d stare at it for hours
He really had it bad
Then one day all excited
He woke me out of bed
He was screaming on my lawn
His face was turning red
“Oh, man, I have to SHOW you”
“I have to show you, bro”
“Everything is changing”
“Man, you don’t even know”
I urged him to be quiet
I dressed and went downstairs
I opened up the door
He was giddy standing there
He rushed inside my house
He stripped out of his jacket
He wore a loose black t-shirt
He smiled and pointed at it
It said ‘Be a Little Stronger’
‘Every Single Day’
I nodded and I mouthed a ‘cool’
Then began to turn away
He grabbed my arm and spun me back
His eyes began to glower
He said “Don’t patronize me”
“This t-shirt gives me power”
His grip was like a vice
My knees began to buckle
I took a giant gulp
Ken started to chuckle
He slapped my back and smiled
He sat down on the couch
I stood in the same spot
And settled to a crouch
“I’ll tell you how it happened”
“It took many months, my man”
“And then I found the secret”
“Ha! Now, I’ve got a plan”
He then told me the story
Of all the nights he cried
How he never seemed to change
No matter how he tried
He’d felt like such a loser
He’d felt like giving in
And here he shook his head
Then he begin to grin
“There I was just standing”
“At the juice bar at my gym”
“I glanced behind the counter”
“Then I had to look again”
Here he grinned much wider
His eyes drifted above
Rubbing on his t-shirt
He sounded so in love
“Be a Little Stronger”
“Every Single Day…”
“Doesn’t that just say it all?”
“I mean, it blew me away”
“I bought the shirt of course”
“I put it on that night”
“I slept in it and when I woke”
“Everything felt tight”
Jimmy rolled his sleeve up
He flexed with pure bravado
And showed he had a bicep
The size of an avocado
I nodded at him as you do
When someone’s very proud
He nodded back contentedly
And then got very loud
“Man, don’t you understand?!”
“This shirt is why I grew!”
“The trick is not to take it off!”
“I could get one for you!”
I chose my words with care
So he would know I cared
But I wanted him to leave
The truth is I was scared
“Well, yeah, I mean, the thing is”
“The thing is that I’m flattered”
“It’s great that you have muscle”
“For me that’s never mattered”
He looked me up and down
Said “Ok, bro, I get it”
“It’s clear that you aren’t ready”
“It’s good you can admit it”
He shook my hand and then
I shook my hand from pain
He laughed, said ‘later, man’
And then only I remained
It was over summer break
Before I saw Ken again
And he didn’t look as much
Like the guy who was my friend
He was roughly six feet tall
And broad across the shoulders
He was walking with some jocks
He looked a few years older
He wore a coarse dark beard
Upon a stronger chin
Veins crawled along his arms
Which bulged against his skin
And right across his chest
That motto there was etched
That shirt now fit him tight
The letters slightly stretched
Be a Little Stronger…
He never took it off
Lisa saw me staring
And I began to cough
“What’s wrong, babe, can you breathe?”
“Are you gonna be okay?”
“It’s like you saw a ghost?”
“Your color’s gone away.”
I breathed very deeply
And sat upon the ground
Thoughts of Kenny Bulger
In my head spinning ‘round
Now we all have a friend
Where you can clearly tell
That if they had superpowers
Things would not turn out well
It’s not that they are evil
They may have a gentle soul
But they’re really obsessive
With no sense of control
Kenny was that kind of guy
And clearly on a path
Stronger Every Day
We all can do the math
I tried to call his phone
He never was around
I looked for him at school
He never could be found
It wasn’t until fall
On a cool Friday night
That I knew where he’d be
Just basking in the light
No doubt he would be there
The first game of the season
Everything Kenny did
He’d done it for this reason
The team came jogging out
I stood amongst the crowd
And looked for someone bigger
Than should ever be allowed
Lisa said “Is he there?”
And I shook my head slow
“No, I don’t think he is”
“If you want, we can go”
She rubbed on my shoulder
Said “Let’s just watch the game”
She gave the kind of smile
That made me glad we came
Now just before the kickoff
A gasp went round the place
The kind that makes you picture
The shock on every face
I locked eyes with Lisa
And said “Babe, don’t be scared”
“But by my calculations”
“Kenny’s right down there”
“Furthermore, he’s bigger”
“Than any ever man”
“And they’re gonna let him play”
“To thrill all of these fans”
She just nodded at me
We looked down to the field
There we saw a monster
From the tunnel just revealed
His back was like a boat hull
His legs like full size men
His shadow covered twenty
And he wore number ten
Screams of fear were smothered
By the screams of pure delight
For the home team had the freak
And the visitors had fright
Our side won the coin toss
And elected to receive
Kenny trotted to the back
I saw some players leave
Their coach was yelling at them
They just kept on walking
“Those guys are smart” I said
But no one heard me talking
Lisa like the others
Was in a kind of thrall
Nothing else could matter
‘Til the monster got the ball
Of course they kicked it short
Of course it got tossed back
Until it reached Kenny’s hands
And he started to attack
He could have run them over
Just gone straight down the line
But Kenny he was artful
And Kenny took his time
He spun around the first one
He then jumped over three
He looked to find a seam
So that he could run free
I was suddenly struck
With a sense of deja vu
For I’d played him in Madden
And knew what he liked to do
He wasn’t touched until the five
When one kid grabbed his belt
And hung on like a flag
Which Kenny never felt
Now people love their sports
But they love winning more
You should’ve heard the joyful noise
They made after every score
Kenny got his number in
Touchdowns before the half
While even the other team
Resigned themselves to laugh
The coaches tried to push him
Out to play defensive line
They ground their legs in earnest
He never glanced behind
Kenny was a runner
And that was all he’d do
And once they led by 60
It was clear that he was through
He then took off his helmet
He was hairy like a beast
His hair cascaded down
It was to his waist at least
He walked back towards the tunnel
Both benches stood with cheers
The visitors with thanks
For not ending their careers
He lifted his massive arms
And flexed to oohs and ahs
Then ducked into the darkness
Leaving only open jaws
It was his one hurrah
As legends sometimes do
He disappeared soon after
Now what more could he do?
Cut to one year later
And fade in on a room
I was sitting by my window
A shadow began to loom
I was lost in writing
And startled by a knock
It shook the walls around me
I glanced around in shock
It couldn’t be an earthquake
We didn’t get them there
My mind raced til I saw
The letters in the air
Smeared upon my window
It made my stomach weak
In script large and muddy
The words: “COME 2 THE CREEK”
I knew who it was from
For I’d camped there with Kenny
Plus a monster wrote it
There couldn’t be that many
I don’t know if I’ll go
I thought this while I packed
I told myself a mile in
That I could just turn back
But Kenny was my friend
Back when I had just one
So I walked into the woods
As I watched the fading sun
Soon I reached a clearing
And sat upon a stone
Where we had watched the water
That I now watched alone
I had the strangest feeling
A mix of peace and dread
I hoped was not the same thing
One feels before they’re dead
I closed my eyes real tight
And switched on my flashlight
Then held it in the air
And waved it at the night
I heard the crunch of something
Maybe leaves or brush or trees
I heard it coming closer
And then only the breeze
I opened my eyes slowly
To a massive wall of fur
And kept on looking up
Towards what I wasn’t sure
A creature sat before me
Breathing deep and very calm
Hair covered every inch
As he raised his giant palm
My eyes followed it
Everything moved slow
He’d crush me with one shot
If he chose to strike a blow
Somewhere deep inside him
A sound began to grow
It started like a growl
But ended as… “Hey, bro”
Then “Man, I’m glad you came”
In a deep and raspy voice
“Sorry, it had to be here”
“But it’s like the only choice”
“I guess I messed up, bro”
“I kind of overdid it”
I said “We all make mistakes”
“It’s good you can admit it”
He lowered his furry head
And it’s then I saw his eyes
There was Kenny still inside
This enormous disguise
“Are you still wearing it?”
I said and he nodded again
I couldn’t take it off
It’s fused onto my skin
He laughed “Not that you could tell”
“Beneath all of this… stuff”
He tugged at his fur and said
“But I do look pretty tough
I smiled and agreed
“The toughest man on Earth”
“Probably all-time too”
“For whatever it’s worth”
He shook his massive frame
I took it he approved
Then we both got quiet
And neither of us moved
It seemed to last a while
It seemed to last a day
As me and my friend sat
With not a thing to say
Finally, I decided
To ask something sincere
“Does it hurt when your bones grow?”
His words came loud and clear
“Yes! Especially at night”
“The pain cuts really deep”
“You can’t imagine, bro”
“For a while I couldn’t sleep”
At first I didn’t care
I wasn’t gonna quit
But then I got so big
There were no clothes to fit
“Coach ordered uniforms”
“And shoes from big and tall”
“But by the time they got here”
“They were waaay too small”
“His wife made shirt and pants”
“For one game I got to play”
“And the shoes were overstock”
“For one guy in the NBA”
“But I grew out of those”
“And I couldn’t go to school”
“I wrapped myself in curtains”
“And felt like such a fool”
“That shirt is bonded to me”
“Just like some kind of curse”
“It was awesome when it started”
“Until it got much worse”
“I kept hiding from my mom”
“Y’know she works all the time”
“But I knew one day I’d scare her”
“So, I made up my mind”
“I moved out here to live”
“I didn’t have a choice”
“And you’re the only one in months”
“Who’s heard me use my voice”
“I knew I wouldn’t scare you”
“Cuz, bro, you’re my best friend”
“I knew we’d still be cool”
“Cuz you liked me way back when”
“Of course we’re cool” I said
I really meant it too
“I’m sorry bout the things”
“That you’ve been going through”
“I can come out here sometimes”
“And we can just hang out”
“You’re the coolest guy I know”
“And that’s without a doubt”
“Plus, for once I’ll get the chance”
“To play with someone great”
“I’ll bring a football with me”
“Tomorrow if it’s not too late”
Kenny balled his fist up
And tapped me on the shoulder
It didn’t really hurt
But it knocked me off my boulder
He shook again and laughed
“You’re right, I’m pretty great”
“I’ll let you get back home”
“It’s already pretty late”
I punched him in the ankle
And shot him the peace sign
I left and came the next day
And that week two more times
It was an adventure
The first few times it’s true
But even amazing fades
When there isn’t much to do
I tossed Kenny the football
He caught it and it popped
So we started throwing rocks
Until we finally stopped
We’d sit and talk for hours
Until I’d start to yawn
Then Kenny would pretend to
And then I would be gone
School was getting hectic
And any time I had
I wanted to spend with Lisa
So I felt pretty bad
On weeks I didn’t see him
When I left him all alone
Even as I knew that
I’d rather be at home
And then I got so busy
Two whole months passed by
In which I didn’t visit
And didn’t even try
Lisa asked about him
“He’s fine” I said but then
It hit me like a shock
I’d forgot about my friend
How big had he gotten?
Could he be depressed?
What if someone found him
And kidnapped him for tests?
I jogged down to the water
Breathing heavy all the way
I didn’t know I’d find him
Or if so what I’d say
I rested on the rock
Where I met him on that night
But I didn’t have a flashlight
And it was still daylight
I stared down at the grass
My heart and my thoughts burning
I felt so lightheaded
That the ground started turning
It spun away from me
‘Til I was floating high
Beyond my own control
I had begun to fly
Trees were whizzing by me
So blurry as I passed
And then I saw beside me
A churning hairy mass
‘I’m glad that he’s ok’
I’d like to say I thought
But in that moment all I did
Was worry that I was caught
He looked to be quite angry
You know, running as he was
Like he was gonna eat me
If only just because
I only knew I couldn’t fight
While carried in the air
Or even on the ground
Or with weapons to be fair
I was at his mercy
And clearly we were going
Towards where, and why, and when?
I had no way of knowing
Finally we stopped
I said a silent prayer
He lowered me down gently
And placed me in a chair
From a hillside perch
We looked down on our city
Kenny sat beside me
I managed out: “It’s pretty”
“Did you make these chairs?”
I asked, and Kenny stared
“They’re nice, really sturdy…”
It didn’t seem he cared
“I’ve never been up here”
“It’s –“ but then he started speaking
“I wanted to scare you, bro”
“I planned on it all weekend”
“I mean, it’s not fair because”
“I know I left you too”
“But not like all alone”
“Bro, that’s not cool to do”
“I found this spot for us”
“I even got some snacks”
“I was psyched about it”
“Til you did not come back”
He had a lot to say
So I let him keep going
The tension quickly faded
He told me he’d stopped growing
The shirt disintegrated
Or maybe lost its vigor
Kenny was still massive
But he would not get bigger
He told me about people
Who chased him for his photo
And how he toyed with them
And the lengths that they would go to
“They used to set these traps”
“With raw meat but I broke those”
And left them notes that said
‘Pepsi and Doritos?’
“Sometimes, I’ll run on by”
“If they bring me some food”
“I’ll give them a blurry picture”
“The system’s pretty good”
“I eat a lot of free stuff too”
“That people throw away”
“Behind the grocery store”
“Just expired by a day”
He showed me some tuna fish
Beyond its date of sell
He chewed it in his mouth
Then spit the can out like a shell
“I’m really bored sometimes”
“Being out here every day”
“That’s why I got so mad”
“When you didn’t come this way”
He handed me some chips
We sat and watched the sun
We laughed about the pranks
He pulled on hunters just for fun
“I like to move their tree stands”
“And scare away their deer”
“Sometimes I’ll growl real loud”
“Just to see the looks of fear”
“One guy even shot me”
“Bro, it barely even stung”
“So, I jumped in front of him”
“And I stuck out my tongue”
“He passed out, man, he fainted”
“Right there on the ground”
“I dipped him in the water”
“To help him come around”
I buckled over laughing
Just picturing that scene
The man awaking soaking wet
From the strangest dream
We laughed some more until
There wasn’t any light
And it was clear I’d have to leave
Or sleep there through the night
“I can take you back, bro”
“Right to your door in front”
“When it’s dark like this”
“I can go anywhere I want”
Before we left I made a pledge
I knew I could adhere to
And that is where we’re walking, son
And where we’re getting near to
Your mother Lisa told me
That you wonder where I go
On every other weekend
Now you’re old enough to know
You’ve heard some rumors ‘bout him
But he isn’t just pretend
That beast they talk of in the woods
Is your father’s oldest friend
I think you’re gonna like him
I really think you will
He’s excited to meet you too
He’s right over this hill